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VIOLET (VI) LOUISE MILLER
Born: Dec 28, 1927
Date of Passing: Apr 03, 2024
Send Flowers to the Family Offer Condolences or MemoryVIOLET (VI) LOUISE MILLER
Violet (Vi) Louise Miller (nee Deamel) passed away peacefully in her sleep on April 3, 2024, at the age of 96. She was predeceased by her husband of over 50 years, Russ Miller in 2004.
Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother, she will be lovingly remembered by her brother Glen Deamel and her children, Mel (Mary-Jeanne); Lynn Floyde (Lanny); and Patti Marlatt (Larry). Grandchildren, Ryan (Jenn) and Adam Floyde; Quinn and McKenzie Miller, Cole and Ryley Marlatt and great-grandchildren, Jadyn and Brynley Floyde.
Born on December 28, 1927, as Violet Louise Dressler/Ostrom, into a cohabitating family where each partner had three children from previous marriages. Vi would be the seventh child, she would eventually have two more brothers, Bob (Norman) and Glen (Minton). These nine children had complicated childhoods. When Vi’s birth father died in the early 1930s, her birth mother Catherina was ostracized or abandoned by three families: Dressler (because she married outside her nationality); Amison (because of her divorce); and Ostrom (the man who employed her as a live-in Domestic Servant, fathered her last three children but never married her). Understandably, it would have been very difficult for any family to take in and shelter a mother with nine children during the height of the Depression. Out of work, homeless, with few job prospects must have been a crushing burden for any young woman - unimaginable stress. Canadian Domestic Servant wages for a woman at this time averaged around $365/year or about $1/day (before taxes) if you could find work.
Catherina was institutionalized. Vi and the eight other children were placed into the Manitoba Foster Care system with four different families. The Ostrom children were taken back to live with their relatives, the Amison children stayed in Foster Care until they ran away and enlisted in the Army. Bob and Glen were adopted by Jim and Bella Deamel from Manitou. Vi was adopted five years later to keep the three youngest members of the family together. During her five years in Foster Care, Vi developed a deep lifelong friendship with her foster care sister Dolores Reiser (nee Park). Dolores was her best friend for life. Mom said she cried every night after being separated from Dolores, thankfully the Deamel’s allowed Vi to exchange letters with Dolores for years. Placed into foster care then adoption during the Depression you wouldn’t think to envy any of these children’s start in life BUT against all odds Vi always said she had a truly “wonderful life” and considered herself very fortunate to have been adopted by a family that loved all their children unconditionally.
Vi met and fell in love with Russ Miller while working as a Switchboard Operator with the Manitoba Telephone System. Russ, as luck would have it, was working as a Switchboard Installer at that time. It was “God’s Joke” on Dad when he later discovered that after fighting against the Germans in the Second World War and harbouring more than a little resentment towards that country, that he would return home, fall in love with and marry a beautiful young woman of then unknown German-Austrian heritage. Children should never be held accountable for the sins of their forefathers. They had a great marriage because she offset his shortsightedness. A cherished family memory comes from a time when Russ complained during supper that the roast was over-cooked and Vi immediately pointed out that he was two hours late for dinner because he was golfing and drinking with his friends. What a wonderfully tension-filled dinner for all of us watching from the peanut gallery. I think we were all quietly cheering for Mom that evening.
On the advice of her adoptive mother Bella, Vi avoided becoming a golf widow. She enjoyed decades of dancing, golfing and curling with Russ and their many friends. We all secretly hoped she would score a Hole-in-One before Russ. Unfortunately, neither of them managed that feat. They really enjoyed living in Morden in the early 1960s and although they wished they had never left; they found many new friendships with their neighbours on Allard Avenue in the Westwood area when they returned to Winnipeg. Sadly, living a long life means you outlive most of your friends. However, one of her good friends, Loretta Maley, is still here to remember all the good old days on Allard. Mom also had fond memories of the Sturgeon Creek Retirement Residence where she lived for over a decade after Russ passed away.
Interestingly Vi discovered and reconnected with her birth mother a few years after her adoptive mother passed away. While volunteering at an Extended Care Home in Winnipeg, she discovered by chance two blood relatives, an aunt and cousin who knew her birth mother - Catherina was still living at the Selkirk Mental Health Centre. After being institutionalized for over “50” years - Catherina recognized her only daughter and two youngest sons as soon as they entered her room and called them all by their original given names: Violet, Norman and Minton. Catherina likely spent more than five decades worrying where her children had gone after they were taken from her. I can only imagine the sense of joy, relief and closure these visits, these amazing Acts of Kindness must have brought. She passed away a few years later.
One final thank-you to the staff at Tuxedo Villa, who helped ease the pain of our mother’s final years. We recognize this is a very difficult and sometimes thankless job with so many conflicting demands on your time. Our mother really wished she could have been empowered to have the autonomy to choose a more dignified death at an earlier time and place of her own choosing.
Vi had a positive attitude. She took everything life threw at her with a smile. She was an active participant in life, and she will be missed. For the record: Vi would have probably wanted us to remind everyone that she has never dyed her hair! At Vi’s request there will be no public service. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Manitoba Adoption Options (Registered Charity: #13323 1233 RR0001).
As published in Winnipeg Free Press on Apr 06, 2024, Apr 06, 2024
Condolences & Memories (11 entries)
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My name is Craig Smith. My late father was Ken Smith who served in the Queen’s Own Cameron Highlanders of Canada during the Second world war and served till the war’s end. After the war he left the army but was involved with the Regiment for the rest of his life until his passing in late March last year. I was saddened to read in the recent edition of the Regimental newsletter, The Oatmeal Rag, of Vi’s passing. Dad was great friends with both Russ and Vi and looked forward to visits and calls over the years and catching up at the annual Cameron reunion when possible. When he had his first long hospital stay in 2018, I was checking his answering machine at his apartment and listened to a message from Vi, concerned that she hadn’t heard from him. I called her back and had a great chat with her and filled her in on how Ken was doing. She told me that she highly recommended that he move out of his apartment and get into a care home. She extolled the virtues of hers and then said she was off to the pub afternoon there. Not long after we moved Dad into an assisted living home and he thrived; Vi was absolutely spot on with her advice. They had a number of calls over the next few years and Dad was always thrilled to talk to her. We send our deepest condolences to the family on the loss of this remarkable lady. She is now at peace and reunited with Russ. We are grateful for her long friendship with Dad. And, as he would always add, Bless You. Craig Smith on behalf of the family of Ken Smith - Posted by: Craig Smith (Friend) on: Jun 10, 2024
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Russ served with my Father and Uncle in WWII. When I joined the Queens Own Cameron Highlanders of Canada as a young Officer Russ was a caring mentor to me. A big part of that was Vi, she was always involved in the regiment's activities and took care of many of us. As a team they were caring and giving but Vi always had a little extra for us. Hugs to the family, Vi and Russ are together again. God bless. - Posted by: Bill Gillespie (MILITARY) on: Jun 02, 2024
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I remember when Jim and Bella Deamel adopted Vi, Bob and Glen. I believe it was Bob, her brother that I ran into in Winnipeg several years ago. I believe he was driving a bus. I was friends with Jake Deamel's daughter, Shirley and another "cousin', Elsie, worked in the local restaurant for some time. This is many, many years ago but when I saw the picture, I recognized her as we always thought she was so pretty. A very nice story. - Posted by: Geraldine McLean (Manitou aquaintance) on: Apr 14, 2024
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My Dear Vi, where do I begin to write this difficult memorial. You were one in a million .. a lady who was loving caring non judgemental and just too sweet. How lucky were we to have you in our lives, Tom, myself all our kids and their spouses just truly adored you. We are so happy that you were able to join many of our family gatherings over the years and for that we as a family are so grateful. I am so happy that I went to visit you days before and was able to tell you that you are just a wonderful person and that I loved you. My Dear Vi your life was a life well lived and we are so lucky to have had you in ours. Rest well my dear friend. ❤️ - Posted by: Wendy and Tom (Close friend ) on: Apr 09, 2024
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I have known Russ and Vi for decades and in recent years their son Mel came into my life. What a wonderful family and group of friends they have turned out to be. In a way it breaks my heart to read of the adversity and challenges that she endured in life as she never mentioned them. She was such a warm, pleasant person to be around. I will miss her. My sincere condolences to her family and friends. There will never be another like her. - Posted by: Grant McLean (Family friend) on: Apr 08, 2024
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I too have no relation and I’m sorry for your loss. What a beautiful story. If your Mom had kept her memoirs they would be fascinating! Rest in Peace lovely lady. - Posted by: Doreen G (None) on: Apr 07, 2024
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Vi & Russ were our closest neighbours on Allard. :) Despite the large gap in years, the two of them were great fun! Our children were babies when we moved next door & we have many, many fond memories spending time together with them! Many of those memories are mischievous, funny comments the two of them would say, making us laugh so hard! They were very special people in our lives and Vi made the best lemon meringue pie! The meringue was a mile high! :) We were honoured to get. Photo with Russ in his military uniform standing with our boys, Vi standing nearby smiling at the special moment- also so patient when we’d run over to have a suit tie knotted for a special day. We are so fortunate to have known Vi and Russ! - Posted by: Twyla Jaworski (Friend ) on: Apr 06, 2024
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Vi was a lovely lady. Russ and Vi were neighbours of my parents (Don and Sylvia) on Allard and they shared memories together over the years. While they missed Vi when she moved away, she was never forgotten. Mum thought of Vi often (mum passed in Oct 22). Dad sends his condolences, and mentioned that he had been talking about Vi just today. - Posted by: Racheal Humphrey (Previous neighbour) on: Apr 06, 2024
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As the previous poster conveyed, I also have no relationship to this family, but found myself in tears reading this obituary and how it was so beautifully written. Oh the hardships some people had to endure, but the fact that Catherina was able to name her children when she saw them after all those years was so touching. Incidentally, my MIL’s maiden name is Ostrom, which is not a very common last name. - Posted by: C. Zajac (None) on: Apr 06, 2024
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Vi was an exceptional person, always willing to help and look out for others. She always seemed to have a smile and I felt it made me a better person knowing her. I used to get phone calls from her saying "it's mom calling". We lost touch over the past few years and now it seems like a piece of my heart is missing. My deepest condolences to the family. - Posted by: Peter Doliwa (Friend) on: Apr 06, 2024
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I have not any relationship with your dearly departed, however, this obituary and tribute is incredible. I am so touched by your accurate account, and the adversity that Violet has endured in a very difficult life. It is a testament to her resiliency, and thank you for your account. May she Rest In Peace. She has surely deserved it. - Posted by: Enid Barnes (avid reader) on: Apr 06, 2024