MARIA VALKO

Condolences & Memories (2 entries)

• Dear Andrew, Anne, and family, I have just today (July 21, 2014) learned the sad news of Maria’s passing and want to extend my deepest condolences in your deep loss. My mother lives at the Waverley, and I have been asking about Maria for months. I met Maria a few years ago and became very close to her. I would visit her every time I came to Winnipeg. Quite simply, I loved and cherished this remarkable woman. She touched me deeply as she generously bestowed her rich life experience, philosophy, and wisdom on me. I wrote a story about what she meant to me, which I would like to share with you. I will miss seeing my dear friend when I go to Winnipeg again, but she will always live in my heart. I want to say also that on every visit, she spoke about her love and appreciation for her children, and for her grandchildren. Here is my story. Maria’s Gift to Me I met Maria at the assisted living residence where my 93-year-old mother lives. When I visit my mother every few months, part of my time is occupied with getting to know some of the other residents. One special soul I met there made my spirit dance and my heart sing. I first saw her sitting in the lounge by herself one evening after dinner and struck up a conversation — one that bonded us closely in a short period of time. We spoke of subjects that interest us both deeply — to do with philosophy, the social sciences, creative expression, living and learning, balancing intelligence and heart. Maria was exhilarated, as was I. She told me it was the first “intelligent” conversation she had had in the place, that she couldn’t talk to anyone there and feel really understood. I told her that I too longed for conversations like this, where I felt truly seen and valued. As Maria said on our recent visit, “Intelligence is different than just knowledge. Intelligence comes from the heart and reaches people.” Maria is now in her late 80s. She emigrated from Czechoslovakia to Canada in the 1960s, was married to a doctor, and has two devoted children, one an acclaimed artist. She is a highly educated person whose passion was reading and exploring ideas. Now, suffering from macular degeneration and nearly blind, this intellectual lifeblood has virtually stopped flowing as she gradually weakens physically and wanes mentally. Yet she carries on courageously, with grace and dignity. For this is who she is. She is still Maria, willing to give her gift of wisdom to whomever is open and able to receive it. Thankfully, I am in that rare category at this stage in her life (and mine). When I went to see her this last time, I wasn’t sure how she would receive me, or if she would even know me. Sure enough, when I walked into her room, she didn’t immediately recognize me. I knew she couldn’t visually make me out, and I needed to get very close and remind her of our connection. She got it quickly then and greeted me effusively. She apologized that she was having a bad day memory-wise, having woken up confused and disoriented. The day before had been much better, she said. And so we began our conversation, as usual probing more deeply than most ordinary chit-chats. During our talk, she reiterated several times,“You are so intelligent,” which I gave right back to her, “Maria, YOU are so intelligent.” It seems we are each other’s greatest fan! Of course, “intelligence” means different things to different people. But we both understand what it means to us. Suddenly she said, with such clarity, force, and conviction that it startled me, “USE IT! USE IT!” (she meant express it in the world). I responded, “Okay, I’ll try,” to which she shot back, “DON’T TRY, DO!” The power of her words penetrated and touched me deeply. I realized that I had been longing my entire life to hear those words, or rather the strength of the conviction behind them that came from Maria’s core values, from her caring and belief in me, and from her passion for life itself. The tears came as I thanked her for the gift of encouragement she had just given me and what it meant. I hugged her and told her how much I love and value her and that I will see her the next time I come for a visit. I will see you and feel you always, Maria. For you are an integral part of my heart and soul as I journey through life. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for the loving kick in the butt. - Posted by: Patryce Kidd (Friend and fellow life journeyer) on: Jul 21, 2014

• So sorry we could not be at the service but think of Maria fondly. Peter and Keith were colleagues at Winnipeg Clinic and we met Maria on many occasions. She was a truly "gentlewoman". We always enjoyed the times we spent together. You will miss her but she had a happy life in Winnipeg and adapted to what life dealt her. Sincere condolences ...Keith and Norma Christie. - Posted by: Keith and Norma Christie (Colleagues and friends) on: May 01, 2014