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SATHYA DHARA KOVAC
I will keep this long. In my absence I would like to ask that you pet a dog, do your healing work, be open to learning, look to the sky for the beauty and the medicine it can provide, be real and honest, treat each other well and smash the patriarchy HARD.
To my friends, thank you for also being my family. I feel sorry for you guys because after all this time thinking I'm annoying you're now going to really miss me. When you are feeling sad please remember how funny I was. I hope you can hear me laughing when you are laughing. I love you. I'm not afraid to make this weird. You shouldn't be afraid either.
Light a candle and send me the energy of encouragement to move forward on my journey. Send me reminders to release and detach. Let me go and I will try to do good work on the other side. I wasn't great at life here but I think I can do better elsewhere.
Please feed someone hungry, help an animal and every time you do a deed like this know I am so proud and thankful for you.
Living with ALS has not been easy. I wish there was more awareness, research and hope. This shitty illness took my incredible mother Barbara Kovac (nee Olive), Grandma Sophie Olive and Uncle Billy Olive. Somebody needs to cure this thing so cool people are not lost because of it.
I tried my best. I'm still proud of myself for hanging in there and holding things down since diagnosis in 2006. I might not have looked strong but I know I was.
Ultimately it was not a genetic disease that took me out, it was a system. There are not enough supports and services promoting quality of life and Independence for those who are not healthy and able-bodied. Look to unhealthy societal structures and government. There is desperate need for change. That is the sickness that causes so much suffering. Vulnerable people need help to survive. I could have had more time if I had more help.
I credit my Grandma Jean and Grandpa George Kovac for looking out for me after I lost my mother. Their generosity and belief in me sustained me quite a while and allowed me the gift of a safe comfortable home/my sanctuary in my loved neighbourhood of Riverview.
My small but mighty circle know who they are. It was an honour to know you, love you and be known and loved.
I couldn't have survived as long without you. I wouldn't want to. Special thanks to my right hand ride or die Shayla. Your unconditional love and acceptance was everything to me.
I wanted to be a writer so at least this will be in print. I wanted to be a mom and my amazing dog Shanti made me feel like I was.
I wanted to do healing work and in a way I did. I wanted to be loved and I finally learned to love myself. Now I want to be brave, explore and travel, and see how it feels to be light. I hope there is sun, and tea and peace where I go or something even better.
Do something nice.
See you.
Dhara
As published in Winnipeg Free Press on Oct 08, 2022
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